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As parents, we get a lot of advice on how to discipline, love, and raise our children. 

We turn to the internet for helpful articles, we go to friends and family for advice. 

We often compare ourselves to the way other parents raise their child or want our children or ourselves to act differently to be more like the ones we are comparing ourselves to. 

I believe we all can learn from sources and other people to apply new methods that will generally help us.

That Moment of Defeat

Where we get stuck is when we expect our children or loved ones to instantly change, our mindset to immediately change and everyone is the way we want them to be.

That’s when problems come along in our thoughts. 

We feel defeated and not much hope in the moment to keep trying our best. 

I have felt defeat from my children not behaving the way I think they should or me not behaving the way I think I should.

I have felt hopeless at moments to keep trying to be better. 

Today was a day where I was feeling some defeat in the way I was communicating even though most of it was me trying to respond with compassion and understanding. 

How Do YOU Want To Teach?

It was when we were sitting down to read scriptures and say prayers that I had the thought, “your children chose you to be their mom. They are wanting to learn something from you. What do you want to teach them and how do you want to do it?”

This powerful thought was followed by love from my Savior. 

I am extremely blessed and was given the opportunity to have MY children for ME. 

After that thought I wanted the next thing to come out of my mouth to be something said with love. 

I want my children to know that I am doing the best I can and I will continue to strive my hardest to speak with love and be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

As I was laying down with my children for bed I felt like I needed to lay with them longer than usual.

I wanted to speak to them individually about how much I love them. 

Turning to the Right People

When I was laying with Rone and expressing my love for him I felt a desire to ask him a few questions.

I asked…

How do you think I should talk to you when you are upset?

How do you think I should talk to you when you are sad?

How do you think I should talk to you when you are happy?

Ronen replied saying, “I want you to be calm and speak with love when I am upset or sad. When I am happy I want you to make me laugh.”

We giggled for a minute. He is my cute mini me. 🙂

What he said rang true for me.

When I am upset or sad and communicate my thoughts to Heavenly Father, His words are calming and loving. 

Ronen was speaking some truth here. 

I know I need to work on responding more with love and being calm even when my children are upset or sad. I don’t need to reciprocate their emotions.

When I also speak to Heavenly Father when I am happy I feel His comfort and could see Him smiling. I believe He is humorous and He enjoys that with us.

I know I can feel defeated some days as a parent. There are times where I feel hopeless.

But those thoughts aren’t going to serve me. It’s only source is a negative one that doesn’t uplift me.

Turning to my children tonight and talking to them about our relationship didn’t want me to compare how I do things with other parents, I only wanted to be reminded of that thought…”my children were given to me. What do I want to teach and how do I want to do it?

Like Ronen said, I want to teach and speak calm with love as my first goal. 

I know that Heavenly Father is a great example to me on this.

I hope to look to Him more for that source of knowledge rather than the world.

His wisdom surpasses ours. When we look to Him we are finding the right answers to grow in love and grow in our thoughts. 

About Author

My name is Brianna Marshall. I was born in Dayton, Ohio into a Air Force family. We moved to Colorado Springs, CO when I was 5 years old and lived there till I moved off to College to Orem, Utah in 2007. I was raised into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm still actively practicing the same faith today. I graduated from Utah Valley University with a Bachelors in Communications. I was married to my husband Dom in 2010 in the San Diego Temple. Dom and I have two children, one a boy, named Ronen, and a girl, named Ryen. I have been in and out of teaching physical fitness for over 10 years. I love to run and weight lift most days of the week. I also love to do yoga at night to calm me down before bed. I have always had a love for baked goods. My mom made a great dessert every Sunday and made them upon request growing up. I have always been really well at expressing my thoughts and feelings. I love to express a lot of my spiritual feelings with friends and family. As a young girl, I worked really hard to have a great relationship with my Father in Heaven. I have felt His presence from the time I was 8 and currently still feel his love and desire for me to become closer to Him. I desire to be a missionary as well as help others understand His love for all of His children. I find that being friendly, understanding and being compassionate to everyone is the best example of His son, Jesus Christ. I strive to follow His teachings. I also stumble with all of it. I'm so grateful for the atonement and repentance when I'm in need of change of heart and a compassionate spirit. I find life to be so beautiful and I'm grateful everyday for the experiences I have. I am a wife, mother, daughter of God, writer, runner, baker, and an imperfect being striving to be the best me.

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