Last week, before Dom and I had our nightly prayer together he suggested for us to repent of anything we have done wrong from our day to Heavenly Father before we go to bed. I was caught off guard at first because I thought we were already applying that, but he suggested that we made it one of the main things we discussed in our prayers along with our blessings and our desired wants or needs. I was so impressed by his spiritual prompting to repent daily and make it a core focus in our prayers.
I remember as a kid I would repent in my prayers every night. It was something taught in my home and at church for us youth to start doing at a very young age. I remember apologizing for the way I treated my sister in a fight, or my disobedience to my parents, or for having a bad thought. As an adult I try so hard to prevent mistakes. And when I do make mistakes I try to apologize to the person I have wronged very soon after for realizing my thoughts and actions that were wrong. Yet, I haven’t done another important step recently like I did as a child, which is to apologize to my Father in Heaven for the mistakes I have caused upon His other children.
During my recent phase in life I have been repenting in my prayers for the feelings or thoughts I had that day from poor behavior. I have continued to repent to others for my behavior but what Dom said was right; “We should repent in our prayers at night for anything we have done wrong that day.” It’s who we are praying to for repentance that matters, and that is Heavenly Father. He wants us to pray to him for all things, and one of those being repentance. I thought of what Dom said and pondered it in my heart and wanted to start making this a part of my routine.
Everyday I do make mistakes and as much as I don’t want to, I should make an effort to repent and be better from them. I want to continue to repent to His children and repent for my thoughts towards myself in a sincere way so that I can make better choices going further.
I love referring to the scriptures and any tools to become more Christ-like in my behavior and have a repentant heart.
2 Nephi 30:2
2. “For behold, I say unto you that as many of the gentiles as will repent are the covenant people of the Lord; and as many of the Jews as will not repent shall be cast off; for the Lord covenanteth with none save it be with them that repent and believe in his son, who is the Holy One of Israel.”
I want to be a part of the covenant people. I want to repent often and break down my pride to follow Jesus Christ. I make mistakes daily and I do try and repent for what I do, that is wrong. I can also always try and be better to soften my heart.
I made a mistake that consumed me with guilt for not trying to be a better wife and mother. Those are two of my most important areas in my life. I was in the kitchen making dinner and I eagerly asked Dom to give the kids a bath. He could sense my overwhelm, with preparing dinner, getting the kids cleaned up, preparing Come Follow Me, and more chores needing to be done. He wanted to help me with dinner but I really just wanted him to give the kids a bath. He walked in the kitchen and started grabbing ingredients and pans, not knowing what I was making. Haha. I snapped and I told him to focus on the thing I asked him to do so I could prepare dinner. He walked away with his head down probably thinking I was ungrateful or many other thoughts he chose to think, but regardless, I felt bad and so did he. I felt so foolish for my behavior.
As we were eating dinner I said sorry and how I grateful I was for him wanting him to help me with dinner and many areas of our daily duties. He really is such a wonderful help and has a great ambition to serve. He understood and forgave me and we moved on from that topic and focused on having a better evening.
I decided after dinner our Come Follow Me should be focused on repentance. I expressed to my family that we can always repent or say sorry. It’s good for us to right our wrongs. Ronen was so involved with this lesson and apologized to all of us for something that he had done wrong that day. It was so sweet to see my 5 year old understand his actions and mistakes that he could make. It was good for me to express my apologies to them and especially Dom for the mistakes I make. I want to be better and I want my children to want to be better as well. It sometimes feels hard to say sorry when we make mistakes but as we do it is very humbling and draws us closer to the Savior.
That evening after getting the kids to bed I read my scriptures and came to the chapter above in 2 Nephi 30. I said a silent prayer and looked up at Dom while he was reading his scriptures as well and apologized again in a more humble and meaningful way. I told him how much I loved him and should try to not let my overwhelm of the day to influence the way I react. He was so sweet and told me to forgive myself and not let it bother me anymore. That’s a weakness I have, allowing me to forgive myself after repenting. Something I’m continually working as well as repentance.
More and more in my prayers I have been asking for forgiveness for my weaknesses. As I pinpoint them it’s a reminder for me to know what to work on for the next day. My morning prayer helps remind me of what to work on and how to be guided by the spirit and follow Christ’s example. As I repent and want to be more Christ-like I choose to have a changed heart and contrite spirit. With that I am able to repent more and more quickly. A bonus of this is is I am growing mentally and spiritually.
3 Nephi 12:19
19. “And behold, I have given you the law and the commandments of my Father, that ye shall believe in me, and that ye shall repent of your sins, and come unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Behold, ye have the commandments before you, and the law is fulfilled.”
I’m so grateful for the ability to repent. It’s such a blessing received from our wonderful Redeemer, Jesus Christ. I have many weaknesses and are diligently working on strengthening myself. I want to work on them for my best self and the best people in my life. I want to work on them for a better connection with Heavenly Father and my relationship to Him.
I’m grateful for Dom’s suggestion, it was inspiring and has humbled certain areas for me to work on. It’s good for us to right our wrongs. It’s a blessing to do that for our Spirit. I want to be a covenant people, following Jesus Christ, and one of those ways is through repentance.