It’s a real thing. It’s very real, the emotions that come out when I write down my thoughts and feelings. 

This afternoon as I was writing my weekly email for my subscribers I felt the spirit touch me. I could also feel so many comforting emotions. I felt closer to my Savior as I was expressing vulnerable parts of me. The tough parts. 

I also had no idea what I was going to be writing about in my email and I felt inspired to share how the Savior transforms you and I through difficult experiences. They also grow us spiritually.

Fearful Learning

As I look back at all the experiences I had that were very hard for me emotionally and spiritually they are the times that I have grown the most.

I remember some of them to be super scary and sad trials. 

When Dom and I were first married I struggling watching anything that brought any negative emotion. For months I had a hard time sleeping because of what I watched and how I thought about it.

Currently, I am struggling with night time because Dom is working over nights again. Something I didn’t want to go back to after 4 years of him doing it. 

Now that he is doing it again, I have fears of being alone and all the negative thoughts that come with night time. I’m not the only one, right? Haha

The thing about these experiences and trials are how my thoughts go wild. My thoughts go into the worst case scenario and bring me down to the pits. 

That experience early on in our marriage and the experience now both feel the same. They both have me feeling doubts. 

I know what I am lacking is allowing the spirit to comfort me, my thoughts to relax, and believe my Heavenly Father is aware of me and loves me. 

When I am fully aware during the day about how much my Heavenly Father loves me, I have more grace for myself. I also feel more power in my thoughts. 

Growing Spiritually

But I also know that these experiences are what grow me spiritually. They have me turning more and more to my Savior. They have me reaching and wanting guidance from my Father in Heaven.

As much as I don’t like having these thoughts and feelings, I am yearning to learn and grow from them.

I am wanting more understanding for my fears. I am wanting more openness on how to respond to my fears. 

I am wanting to allow the spirit to comfort me and know that God is in charge. He will be my lifeline. God is always my way to peace and growth.

Trials Are Not Meant to Be Easy

In my email I was writing today I could feel the spirit impress upon me that during ALL of my difficult points and thoughts, I will always be comforted and loved by my Heavenly Father.

I will also have a full understanding from my Savior, Jesus Christ, because He has experienced all of my fears and uncomfortable thoughts. 

With the knowledge of these things it brings more brightness of hope. I can see more of what is right. I can feel more of a stillness in my heart. 

They are trials for a reason. They are not supposed to be easy. But, they are meant to shape us, build us, and grow us to become our best selves.

They are meant to grow us spiritually for a glory that is beautiful and completely worth it. 

Be Patient With Myself, Heavenly Father Is

With that, I want to be more patient with myself. Love myself more. Understand that nothing is wrong here. Of course, my brain wants to give me all the worry, pain, and fear. 

I love the most that when I am starting to feel the pain or the worry I know where to turn. I know the light with which to follow. It’s the best light.

It’s the most comforting and loving feeling to know that Heavenly Father is constantly watching over me and ready and willing to embrace me. 

About Author

My name is Brianna Marshall. I was born in Dayton, Ohio into a Air Force family. We moved to Colorado Springs, CO when I was 5 years old and lived there till I moved off to College to Orem, Utah in 2007. I was raised into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm still actively practicing the same faith today. I graduated from Utah Valley University with a Bachelors in Communications. I was married to my husband Dom in 2010 in the San Diego Temple. Dom and I have two children, one a boy, named Ronen, and a girl, named Ryen. I have been in and out of teaching physical fitness for over 10 years. I love to run and weight lift most days of the week. I also love to do yoga at night to calm me down before bed. I have always had a love for baked goods. My mom made a great dessert every Sunday and made them upon request growing up. I have always been really well at expressing my thoughts and feelings. I love to express a lot of my spiritual feelings with friends and family. As a young girl, I worked really hard to have a great relationship with my Father in Heaven. I have felt His presence from the time I was 8 and currently still feel his love and desire for me to become closer to Him. I desire to be a missionary as well as help others understand His love for all of His children. I find that being friendly, understanding and being compassionate to everyone is the best example of His son, Jesus Christ. I strive to follow His teachings. I also stumble with all of it. I'm so grateful for the atonement and repentance when I'm in need of change of heart and a compassionate spirit. I find life to be so beautiful and I'm grateful everyday for the experiences I have. I am a wife, mother, daughter of God, writer, runner, baker, and an imperfect being striving to be the best me.

You might also enjoy: