Walking Away From What I Felt Was Wrong

When I was a child I would play with friends all over the neighborhood. I had friends next door all the way to a mile or two away. 

My parents trusted me that when I would go play with friends that I would come home before it got dark. (back when we didn’t have cell phones)

One day while I was playing with a friend outside her home about a mile from my house, she asked if I wanted to come inside to watch a movie with her family.

I agreed because I wanted to keep hanging out with her. 

When her family and I sat down to watch the movie they turned on something that I wasn’t familiar with. 

I started to see things on the screen that I haven’t seen before. I heard and saw things that were very frightening and I didn’t feel very good.

I could feel the spirit impress upon me that I shouldn’t watch these things.

I still remember to this day how uncomfortable I was sitting with her parents and siblings watching something that I knew to be wrong. 

After about 5-10 minutes I asked her if she wanted to do something else. I asked if we could go back outside to play. 

She insisted on watching the movie.

I then told her nervously, “hey, I just remembered I need to go home.”

I said goodbye and bolted out the door. 

I remember that I ran the whole way home. I did not want to look back. I wanted to get back into the home where I felt better and could have my mom comfort me. 

I knew I didn’t want to feel that way at a friends house again. 

I also didn’t want to watch or listen to things that didn’t feel right. I knew that my spirit was sad because of what I was consuming to my mind.

Learning Through Trial and Error

As I grew older, I would watch movies, shows, listen to music every so often that would not bring the spirit into my daily life. 

I knew what I was consuming was hurting me. My thoughts wouldn’t feel clean and I would sometimes act like what I would see. 

It took some realization and growing but I knew that I needed to clean up what I was allowing to be a part of my life.

I wanted to grow and become better. With me watching or listening to things that withdrew the spirit or wasn’t aligned with the way I wanted to live, I knew I needed to make a change.

As I made this change possible in my life I have seen how much brighter and focused my thoughts are.

The world gives us ideas on what we should do based on what we listen to and watch.

When we understand these sources are not always aligned with growing closer to Jesus Christ we can see more on what is driving thoughts for us. 

Feeling More At Peace With Clearer Thoughts

As time has gone on and with me not having the desire to watch or listen to things that lead me away from the spirit, I have felt so much closer to Jesus Christ. 

I feel more at peace. 

I tend to be more cautious on what I allow myself to consume more of. 

I am one of those people that doesn’t like to watch movies. I don’t like to watch anything that doesn’t teach me something. 

I try to listen or watch things that will have me grow into who I want to become.

I love watching or listening to church talks, self help books, podcasts, or how to make some great food. (<— gotta have that. Haha)

While my family and I were running errands I saw something outside that reminded me of a TV show I used to watch. One that I wouldn’t want to watch now. I started to think of the episodes and some of the things that were inappropriate about the show.

I had a thought come to my mind, “this is why you don’t like to watch shows or movies anymore.”

I’m not saying that watching or listening to things are all bad, I’m saying I am cautious about what I consume that can create better thoughts and results for myself.

I think while I was thinking about the show it reminded me how I used to feel when I was with my friends as a child and how I would act as an adult after watching them.

I love the talk from Tad R. Callister called The Atonement of Jesus Christ

He talks about how when we repent from our sins or shortcomings and still have the remembrance of the sin. That remembrance is a reminder of not going down that same path again. It reminds us of the pain or how much we were withdrawn from the spirit.

Consuming What Strengthens You

For me, I feel clearer and way more happier when I allow myself to watch or listen to things that bring me up.

I am also not saying that I don’t allow myself to watch anything or listen to anything…I actually have no desire to watch or listen to many things. 

I know that what we do consume has a great impact on our thoughts and results.

All I am saying is, for me, if it’s withdrawing me from the spirit or not raising me up higher I don’t want to involve myself in it. 

I feel so much happier when I’m growing and learning through things that build me up. 

It’s been a strength to me. 

I have also seen many blessings from consuming better. 

It’s been a great understanding to me that what we watch and listen to really matters. 

Your thoughts create your results. To me, that involves what I think about what I am seeing and hearing.

Am I right?

About Author

My name is Brianna Marshall. I was born in Dayton, Ohio into a Air Force family. We moved to Colorado Springs, CO when I was 5 years old and lived there till I moved off to College to Orem, Utah in 2007. I was raised into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm still actively practicing the same faith today. I graduated from Utah Valley University with a Bachelors in Communications. I was married to my husband Dom in 2010 in the San Diego Temple. Dom and I have two children, one a boy, named Ronen, and a girl, named Ryen. I have been in and out of teaching physical fitness for over 10 years. I love to run and weight lift most days of the week. I also love to do yoga at night to calm me down before bed. I have always had a love for baked goods. My mom made a great dessert every Sunday and made them upon request growing up. I have always been really well at expressing my thoughts and feelings. I love to express a lot of my spiritual feelings with friends and family. As a young girl, I worked really hard to have a great relationship with my Father in Heaven. I have felt His presence from the time I was 8 and currently still feel his love and desire for me to become closer to Him. I desire to be a missionary as well as help others understand His love for all of His children. I find that being friendly, understanding and being compassionate to everyone is the best example of His son, Jesus Christ. I strive to follow His teachings. I also stumble with all of it. I'm so grateful for the atonement and repentance when I'm in need of change of heart and a compassionate spirit. I find life to be so beautiful and I'm grateful everyday for the experiences I have. I am a wife, mother, daughter of God, writer, runner, baker, and an imperfect being striving to be the best me.

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