I can see many small changes happening in our lives, Ronen is in Kindergarten; he is starting to learn more and know “grown up” words and actions. Ryen is starting to say some more words but gets frustrated when she can’t express what she is feeling. Dom is starting to feel the weight of not having the job he wants. I’m feeling way out of my routine with Dom home and the kids changing as the school year has started. My change has come from creating a blog. I used to think I was good at dealing with change but since we are all going through changes around the same time it’s becoming a bit overwhelming.
This last week as I set up my website and stressed about it, I would snap at my family or I would want to focus on setting it up rather than spending time with them. Each day I felt terrible and each night as I prayed I asked for help from Heavenly Father on how to handle the change and the new challenges I was facing. The promptings I received were that my family comes first and the point of my blog is for spiritual experiences, not stressful ones. That’s been weighing on me because I know my primary purpose is to better myself and be the mother that is present and rears in love and righteousness.
Today, as I was cleaning the bathroom I could hear meltdowns in the kids room. I could hear Dom trying to handle it. I wanted to step in, because honestly, I am the one that handles all of those. I decided to allow that power to Dom so I could quickly clean and be done.
I’m not going to lie, with all these changes and meltdowns we have been having they are leaving my thoughts pretty sad. I decided to say a silent prayer while scrubbing the shower. I then felt the need to vocalize my prayer to hear it outside of my head. I asked, “Please help me to support Dom and love him the way I do each time I go to the temple. I love how we are so close and hold each other. We are best friends.” I went to pray about my children and how they are my perfect blessings that I have received from Heavenly Father. I asked for me to treat them as such. To talk slower and kinder, smile more, hug more, and listen more. After my prayer, I could feel how strong I wanted to make this a part of my everyday life.
After I finished cleaning the bathroom I played with my kids. I play with my kids a lot but during this playtime I was super focused on how they wanted me to interact. I can see they just wanted love play and I wanted to provide that. I also want to provide any teaching moment I can through love.
I want to teach by comforting them when they are upset or sad. I want to smile and say “I love you” a thousand times a day. I want them to know I’m doing the best I know how as a mother. I’m also doing the best to teach about Jesus Christ and minister to them. I want to serve them. I love them.
After we cleaned our home and played they came with me on a run. I listened to a talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, called “Missionary Work: Sharing What is in Your Heart,” from April 2019 General Conference.
The biggest thing that stood out to me in this talk is that we can live as a minister of Jesus Christ. We can involve Him in every conversation and encounter. I liked the statement:
“Because the gospel of Christ… is the power of God unto salvation,” you can be confident, courageous, and humble as you share it. Confidence, courage, and humility may seem like contradictory attributes, but they are not. They reflect the Saviour’s invitation not to hide gospel values and principles under a bushel but to let your light shine, that your good works may glorify your Father in Heaven.”
I can tell you that this talk was for me today. I felt like the works and teachings in my home can glorify my Father in Heaven if I live with a full, righteous heart. I also felt this in my can apply to my writing. I have known for a while that my blog was and is meant for sharing my spiritual experiences. It can be used for ministering or missionary work. Once I created it, I thought of what’s popular today in writing; food, fashion, beauty, etc… as I listened to this talk, what’s happening today or is popular today is not the focus I want to have in my home or what I express in my writing.
Both, being a full time mom and a part-time writer I want them both to be like “ministering.” I’m teaching with love.
I want to refer to one more statement that I loved from the talk. “But remember, the Lord has never required expert, flawless missionary efforts, instead the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.
I felt those thoughts when I was cleaning the bathrooms. I’m giving my efforts with my heart and a willing mind. In my home I’m trying to juggle family, changes that they have, and my blog. I want my first focus on living to be like Jesus Christ.
I can tell you it’s not all easy but my whole heart is there. I know ministering can come in many forms but it’s meant to be with all love. I want to share my feelings of eternal love to my husband and best friend. I know and want to continue to know that my children are a blessing from God. Although, there are many changes going on with me personally I want to strive to have a steady hand in love and ministering to God’s children (my children/ all children).
I want to smile at my husband and children. I want my viewers to feel my smile. I want to express my love for Jesus Christ in my teaching through prayer, scripture reading, and my interactions as a mother and writer.
I minister in my home as a mother. I minister as a writer and it’s all with my heart and a willing mind. I’m so grateful for a prayer while cleaning my bathroom that gave me strength in an ever changing home. (Perhaps I will say more prayers out loud)
I’m so grateful for being taught by President Uchtdorf that small gestures with a big heart can have a huge impact on ministering. That is my hope with ministering that my small impacts can be expressed with my full heart.